300 "Worst Movie I've Seen In The LAst 5 Years"

So I went to a large format theater yesterday to try and see something that would be cool on a large screen. I went to an Odyssey theater, because although I prefer IMAX our IMAX theater is too far away, and too expensive. The Odyssey format still covers your horizontal line of vision unless you sit in the wrong part of the theater. At any rate it is a cool format as well and tickets are about as much as regular movie tickets.
So we decided to see 300. I figured it would be an ok movie, almost up to the action movie standards of "First Blood." I also used to be very interested in ancient history and was looking forward to an accurate, or at least semi-accurate, depiction of the Persian expansion and of course the greatest soldiers in history, the Spartans.
Although the battles were pretty well done every other element in the movie was so bad that I couldn't get past it. I couldn't tell if they were trying to tell a mythological tale or represent an actual battle. The thing that really pushed it from dumb meat head movie to bad movie was the manta ray, or whatever, executioner guy. A guy who had both of his arms cut off, and replaced with swords. I mean common now. Although the ancient people knew how to use honey as an anti-biotic, and some other basic medicinal tools, it's hard to believe that anyone could survive something like that in ancient times.
From that point on I began to take notice to the fact that the acting was also exceptionally poor and began to laugh wildly, probably to the annoyance of the meat head college kids that were in front of me, whenever the King would scream Spartans. I also laughed at the end, and throughout the movie, when they were being killed, and because I felt like they were just stupid and meat heads and that like the world was probably better off without them. Kind of like many professional athletes and guys who drive around with Redneck stickers on their trucks. Kind of like saying, "I'm here to annoy and abuse you, and I'm going to, but passive aggressively, and there's nothing you can do about it because 50% of the nation is like me." You know the wastes of sperm in our society.
This is probably the point that bothered me the most. Yes the Spartans had brutal discipline, yes some of the baby stuff may be true, but the Greeks, especially the Spartans, were not meat heads. I almost felt like I was watching a high school football team go to war.
Now more on costuming. Nice underwear all around. A little too much bulge and man ass for me, but the 3 ladies I was with seemed to be ok with it. I actually liked the depiction of the immortals, but there was too much GCI in general. All of the guys had like 26 packs of abs. I mean really there are plenty of actors out there poisoning their bodies with steroids. Do we really need to use GCI to enhance already "strong" men.
Another aspect that didn't make any sense to me in this movie, or in Star Trek Nemesis, was the rape scene. Some will argue that it made the Athenian politician seem even more evil, but I still don't understand the need for it. There are other ways to bring out a characters' evil and the character had already been established as a villain at that point. Also, the Spartans were a strong people. I would think that the queen would have killed the guy and hid his body before agreeing to that. I mean they were alone. He was in Sparta. It didn't seem like he was well liked, or strong, anyway.... so whatever.
I think that bad directors are just itching to get sex on to the screen to the point that they put it in when it is not necessary and what's the point of putting it in this movie with X rated movies out there anyway? I'm the last guy that would censor anything, but I just don't understand the necessity. This was of course one of 4 sexual scenes that I remember from the movie. I would have preferred that they had used this time, instead, to talk about battle strategy and really make a solid war movie. Why is Gettysburg timeless? Because it is a very accurate depiction of a very famous battle where we follow two great military powers throughout the conflict. This movie could have gone down the same road and been timeless. Well with some other work as well....
The movie drug on with one too many stupid political scenes which again should have been covered with battle strategy scenes. Yes movies need pacing, but I didn't go to see 300 to see ass, politics, or some crack pot fake mythological story that drug on at parts. I went to see the Spartans and I would say I got about 40% of what I went for, but the price for that 40% was too high. Still it was good for a laugh, and I found very few comedies that have made me laugh as hard as this movie did. Oh man that goat dude, hahahahaha.